I decided to haul my ever-expanding arse out of bed, (yes I went back to bed after Wee Man left for school) and go for a walk. It's a gorgeous day today, sun is shining, leaves are changing colour, temperature is near perfect...really no excuse for staying inside.
Goal: Very brisk walk through the trails near my house, for one hour.
Thinking that I'd only be gone for one hour, I didn't head out armed with any supplies, just a good attitude and a desire for lard removal. Of course being as absent-minded as I am, I didn't bother to check the map on the trails, of which there is only one. I trotted past it at a great rate of speed. After what seemed like an eternity of several moments of completely bricking it from sounds in the woods, I wondered if I should turn back. See, I didn't look at the map, so I wasn't sure how long the trail would take that I had chosen to follow. Meh, screw it! As I trudged along another unending curve, I was really feeling the fact that I had no water.
H20, yo. What was I thinking?! Talk about a newbie error.
I finally made it to the end of the trail only to be met with Highway 5. Huh? What city has a trail end at a highway that has no pedestrian access? Oh yeah, mine. I went and talked to a Minister who was mowing the lawn at a church to ask how I could get across the bridge of busy cars and construction. "Can't", he said with a big friendly Pentecostal smile. Fuck, I wanted to belt him. It totally wasn't his fault, but being the bearer of bad news and all, I just about lost it. Somehow I managed a thank you, and a warm smile...at least until he was out of earshot. Then you'd have thought Satan herself was meandering through the forest!
Plod, plod, plod... sigh. Oh good a giant hill that needs climbing. Oh, even better... construction workers yelling things at me and whistling. Fantastic, teen boys smoking dope and acting all menacing. Little do they know I'd effing shred them if they come near me right now. Oh yes, I was foul by this point.
Life cheered up a bit when I passed a really cool pond that housed several herons (?) who were stalking their lunches. Then I heard loads of cars again. What the? No way. I was back at Highway 5 again, but luckily I was just on the other side of the bridge. I walked along the side of the highway, then down in through the dreaded subdivisions. The suburbs are bizarre.
The really good news? By the time I got home, I had been walking for 2 hours and 20 minutes. Not bad! I must've stimulated some lard burning with that :)
When I took my weight this morning I was nothing shy of horrified! Ya know, when you think it can't be as bad as it's feeling? You think you must be overreacting. Nope. Not this time. Brace yourselves as you read the horror that is my weight: 207 pounds, or 94.09 kilos. Good gord.
I'll also be keeping a food diary here, as well as telling shocking stories of having hid food, binged, etc. For those of you who have kept up with my writings in the past, you may be hit with a bit of duplication, but hopefully not.
Measurements:
Neck: 14" or 35.5 cm
Upper arm: 13.5"or 35 cm
Forearm: 10.5" or 27 cm
Wrist: 6.25" or 16 cm
Chest (with bra...sadly, there would be a difference without!): 42.5" or 108 cm
Under boob: 38.25" or 97.5 cm
Waist: 38.5" (OMFG) or 98.5 cm
Biggest part of tummy: 43.25" or 110.5 cm (always a disaster when you've got a boobie-do)
Thigh: 26" or 66.5 cm
Hips: 42" or 107.5 cm
Calf: 16.75" or 43 cm
Ankle: 9" or 23.5 cm
Not exactly Marilyn Monroe. It's somewhat Barney-like actually.
Anyway, the whole point is to start the de-lardification process, and today is one day down with good exercise (even if it wasn't intentional), good eating, and no water (remedy...).
Consumption of mass quantities:
1 1/4 cup Special K™ cereal (110 calories)
1/2 cup 1% milk (60 calories)
2 cuppas with milk and Splenda (?)
Cheese string (yucky, but I was starving) (60 calories)
2/3 cup fruit cocktail, packed in water (60 calories)
1 1/2 extra-large eggs (120 calories)
1/2 red pepper (approx. 23 calories)
1/4 white onion (approx. 21 calories)
1/4 cup cheddar cheese (approx. 150 calories)
Salad (negligible)
1/2 tbsp olive oil (approx. 60 calories)
1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
6 raisins (5 calories)
1 lick of a jam spoon after scooping it out for Wee Man (gotta stop that) (5 calories)
1 glass of Diet Pepsi™
1 square Lindt™ 50% cocoa chocolate (53 calories)
Total calories in: 727... hmm, not enough
Approximate calories burned through insane forest excursion: 708
Where the eff is my water intake today? Ouch!
That's it. I'm effing tired.
Until tomorrow...
A+
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