I have muscles in my ass!

Yes, the ol' gluteous maximi are sore today.  Wait; does that mean stretching is important?  Another key oversight.

Ever eaten 'til you feel like you're going to puke?  I have.  Sadly I did it just the other day.  I was at Sobey's and saw these ridiculously iced cinnamon buns.  Like the icing was so thick you could barely see bun.  As I was eating this veritable heart attack, I felt sick.  You know if something's too sweet for me, it's got to be verging on illegal, or ready for removal by Health Canada.  Srsly.  Of course I finished it. Blech.

This one time when we were in Scotland, my Father-in-Law, who has possibly an even greater penchant for the sweets than I, introduced me to Lees Macaroon Bars.  These things are almost like solid sugar, covered in sugared coconut and chocolate.  In-frickin'-sane.  He could wolf one down no probs.  I left mine in the pocket of my seat on Ryan Air on our way to Stockholm; serves them right for making a stink out of excess baggage weight.

I have a hypothesis as to how I got so much bigger since moving to Ontario.  It's my goldfish theory.  See, goldfish grow bigger if their tank gets larger.  When we moved to Ontario, we bought a bigger house than we had in B.C.!  Et voila.  It's not rocket science, dudes.  Side note:  I wanted to make sure I was correct about goldfish growing according to the size of their tank, and I was blown away by how much I'm like a goldfish!  I wonder if there's some magic goldfish diet craze that I could start...?



Consumption of Mass Quantities:

2/3 cup Special K™ Cinnamon Pecan cereal (120 calories)
1/2 cup 1% milk (50 calories)
3 cuppas with 1% milk and Splenda™ (50 calories?)
2/3 cup o.j. watered down (tastes better!) (80 calories)
15g cheddar cheese (45 calories)
1 whole wheat bun (150 calories... fuuuuuck)
1 (fake) chicken burger (100 calories)
1 tsp dijon mustard (5 calories)
1/2 each orange and red peppers (30 calories)
1/2 tbsp hemp seeds (40 calories)
1/2 tbsp mayo (45)
1/2 container apple sauce (25 calories)
2/3 cup fruit cocktail packed in water (45 calories)
Handful o' broccoli (15 calories)
1/3 cup carrots (17 calories)
1/2 Shanghai bok choy spear (is it a spear?) (5 calories)
1.5 leaves of collard greens (never thought I'd say that) (6 calories)
1/4 block of light extra-firm tofu (100 calories)
1 green onion (10 calories)
1 tbsp orange juice & light tamari (10 calories)
Lick of jam... (5 calories)
Small glass of Diet Pepsi™
1 square Lindt 50% cocoa chocolate (53 calories)
1 litre water (ugh, still not enough)

Total calories in:  1,006 (yikes!)
Total calories burned:  Approx. 428
= 578 calories :(

Another walk in the forest.   Critters sited:  2 squirrels; 1 chipmunk; 2 snakes (oh yes, I screamed and said:  "See, this is why I shouldn't come into the forest.  Fuck!"); 1 large spider.

I'm outtie.

A+